2018 Plans

  The beginning of a brand new year. Brand new start, brand new me. It's a little intimidating, really! I have all kinds of hopes and plans for this year, so let's get cracking as to what they are!

This Blog

   So first of all, I plan on blogging more consistently. Once a month is my goal, but I'd love to increase the amount of posts I make. I'm going to be reviewing books more, and I have a few currently in the drafts. I also want to do more book tags and talking about general thoughts. Maybe I'll post some of my writing systems! But really the biggest thing is posting more and posting consistently. (I've also been thinking about switching to wordpress, but we'll see about that).

Reading

   Almost unsurprisingly, I plan on doing far more reading this year. What will my TBR be? I have no idea. I just want to read, and read, and read. Maybe I'll treat reviews like how to handle/not handle certain story elements.

Writing, Crafts, Drawing

   The big thing. The biggest things! I have so many short stories begun that I want to finish this year. I want to work on, and maybe finish, Queer Superheroes. I had an idea for a webcomic that I want to start planning. I mostly need to save up for a tablet, which will require practice, but hopefully at some point in the future this will be something I'm doing!

   I also have several plushie projects in the wings, so look out for an etsy that'll be started! I need a bit of work on my embroidery, but I'm able to make cute things that I'm very proud of, and that I hope will make people just as happy as they make me.

   On another writing note, I've started trying my hand at poetry. Starting soon, I plan on posting a poem daily on my twitter.

   So here's to a New Year! Good luck, everyone, may this year be kinder to us all than the year before.

Top 5 Wednesday: Books I'm Thankful For

   Today's top five Wednesday is books I'm thankful for. I'm going to keep off Transformers because at this point, everyone and their dog knows how much that comic now means to me. So, this is everything else!

1. Harry Potter.

   Is this really a surprise? I'm really critical of Harry Potter now, for a myriad of reasons, but it was something that helped me get into reading. I hated reading as a little kid; I remember rereading the same Lego book in second grade because I didn't want to read anything else. But somehow, Harry Potter changed that. It was easy, there was a sense of magic I loved. So no matter how critical I am of it, and how complicated my feelings on it are now, I'll always remember it fondly for that reason.

2. Warriors

   While Harry Potter opened the door to a reading love, Warriors by Erin Hunter blew it open. It helped spark my writing, it's what got me into fandom. I love the conventions of it, I think the worldbuilding was so cool. I remember thinking about how dark The Darkest Hour was as a kid, and how I'd never read anything darker. I still reread the first six books from time to time (I am, in fact, one of those annoying fans who don't count anything past those six). It's just a good time and it matters so much to me.

3. The Selection.

   This feels so weird. God this feels so weird. I objectively don't like this series for a myriad of reasons, largely linking to shoddy worldbuilding (I put a lot of emphasis on worldbuilding, ok!), this series somehow managed to worm its way into my heart. I'd been in a reading slump throughout high school and college, due to budding mental problems. Primarily, issues with executive dysfuntion and general attention issues that made reading harder. But on a whim, I got The Selection out from the library and managed to read through it in a day. It kicked off me getting back into reading (though I still struggle a lot!), so for that I'll always be thankful. Also, it was just ridiculous fun.

4. Captain America: Winter Soldier

   My proper first comic, the first one I bought for myself. I liked the movies, but was too intimidated by the amount of continuity to properly get into it. Then, one day, I said "screw it" and picked up Winter Soldier, on the recommendation of a friend. A lot of the continuity was lost on me, but I didn't really care. It was a good story, leading to a fantastic run of Captain America that I still completely adore despite me having fallen out of love with Marvel as a whole. Also, my copy is a misprint, so that's another additional love. My first comic is imperfect and wonderful and I am so thankful I have it.

5. Gotham by Midnight

   A comic that was gone too soon. Gotham by Midnight was my first exploration of DC comics beyond batman, and my first proper introduction to the Spectre. I owe a lot to the Spectre as a whole, since he led me to meeting my best friend. This comic is so good, so wonderful, I'm so sad it ended prematurely. The ending is rushed and didn't do as much with the lore as it could have, but I treasure the issues that exist. Also, the art in it is absolutely gorgeous! Ben Templesmith's in the first half is simplistic and eerie, while Juan Ferreyra's in the second half conveys horrific imagery in his wonderful colored pencil & water color style.

More than Meets the Eye/Lost Light Deserves a Spot on Queer Comic Shelves

Skip To The End For Comic Recs

   Back in July of this year (2017) the eighth issue of The Transformers: Lost Light, titled An Axe to Break the Ice, was released. For the whole day, the Transformers blogs I follow on tumblr talked about nothing but the big reveal: Lug and Anode, two new cast members, are married trans women. I didn't realize until later that almost everything I saw about this was within the fandom, barring a small handful of "congrats on the trans lesbians" posts. I spoke to a few friends of mine, asking if they'd seen anything that I had missed. I was told they hadn't really seen anything either.

   As a result, I started looking up LGBT/Queer comic recommendation lists, trying to find if any had Lost Light (or More than Meets the Eye, since Lost Light is merely a continuation after a rebranding) on it. I understand the reputation Transformers has, that it's a franchise for the dudebro-iest of dudebros with cool cars and hot women and lots of explosions, so it wasn't exactly a surprise that I can't find it, but it's no less disheartening. It feels like this comic (and the other IDW Transformer titles) gets passed over merely because it flies under the Transformers banner, which is hardly fair. The representation in More than Meets the Eye is not lesser because of the franchise it's in.

   To begin, More than Meets the Eye (which ran for 57 issues, before being retitled Lost Light) is the story of the Lost Light, a ship that departed from Cybertron soon after their war without end, well, ended. Headed by Rodimus, around two hundred 'bots begin a quest to find the legendary Knights of Cybertron, who could either find them a new a home or help repair their old one. They've made very little progress. Which is fine, because the true point is all these losers finding love (romantic and platonic) and saving the day.

   The first and main relationship in the story so far is between Chromedome and Rewind. Established as being close, with Prowl calling Rewind Chromedome's best friend in the title's very first issue, the two are very rarely seen without each other. In issue 12, Chromedome is stated to be Rewind's conjunx endura, which translates out to "enduring spouse" (this was first mentioned in relation to Rewind being in critical condition and Chromedome needing to make a medical decision for him, to boot). Issue 16 made this more explicit, with Rewind actually saying the words "I love you." Chromedome has three ex-husbands, all of whom passed away in the war (with an implied ex-boyfriend in Prowl), and Rewind has one ex-husband who's been missing since early on in the war. So they're all gay, too.

[Rewind sits on the shoulders of his much taller husband, who has hold of his legs while Rewind folds his arms on top of Chromedome's head]

   There's also the relationship between Cyclonus, a grumpy purple plane who was on neither side of the conflict, and Tailgate, who spent the entirety of the war underground and is just trusting and naive. Their contrast is cute, and Cyclonus would "split the world in two and tear down the sky if [Tailgate] came to even the slightest harm" [his words]. The love between them drives a lot of their character development, and played pivotal to major plot progression near the end of More than Meets the Eye season 2. Of course, part of the drama is that neither admits their feelings to the other. It's led to a lot of great drama and wonderfully sad moments, even if the two got off to a, well, rocky start would be putting it mildly.

[Whirl and Cyclonus lean in, practically touching foreheads. Whirl says "So why aren't you guys a couple?" Cyclonus replies "... ... He deserves better. He's kind. He cares about people. The more he's pushed away, the more he reaches out." Whirl, who is kind of an asshole, says, "So it's not the height difference." And Cyclonus: "It is in a way. He towers over me."]

   The newest couple in the title is Lug and Anode, the previously mentioned trans lesbians. I really can't say much about them without spoiling parts of the story but they're great and cute. Anode is reckless and runs into danger, while Lug is more restrained and a(n attempted) grounding force for Anode. We're only a few issues in with them and they're such a wonderful delight.

[Two panels, side by side. In the first, Anode presents Lug with a small instrument, saying, "Anyway, here. Survival present." Lug has two floating hearts near her head and she replies, "Aw, thank you!" In the second, Lug hugs Anode while Anode and Nautica talk. The speech bubbles are blank.]

   The Revolution one shot featured the Scavengers, and the central plot of it revolved around Crankcase meeting his online boyfriend. They were really cute, despite the catfishing and the usual shenanigans, but the Scavengers only appear everyone once and a while, so who knows when this will crop up again (though Roberts says they're still in touch).

   From then on the comic has several single characters stated or implied to be gay/bi. Brainstorm, the Lost Light's resident mad scientist, is the most prominent Single Gay in the whole comic. The exact extent to how gay he is, is actually a spoiler, but he's very, incredibly gay. The implication is, at current, that he has a massive crush on the ship's resident scientist, Perceptor. This takes the form of extreme attempts to impress him, or imitate him. Brainstorm has a type, but I can't tell you more than that without spoilers.

[A panel of Brainstorm and Perceptor. Brainstorm has a finger against his head, and is prodding Perceptor on the forehead with a "TNK" sound effect above it. Brainstorm says, "See? You and me - simpatico." to a surprised Perceptor]

   There's evidence that Perceptor is starting to like Brainstorm back, but the exact extent is unknown. Issue 40 of More than Meets the Eye had Perceptor showing support for Brainstorm, and an issue of Lost Light had Brainstorm mention that Perceptor asked him to be his lab partner. Then, issue 10 of Lost Light sent the fandom into a bit of a tizzy because we got even more evidence. But at this point, this one is mostly just fandom hoping and speculation.

[Jackpot jumps in on a conversation about who had left the Lost Light, excitedly adding, "Brainstorm! You should've seen Percy's face when he found out..."]

   Skids and Getaway, in issue 41, tease each other over flirting with the same person (who did turn out to be a woman- Cybertronians are majority men and assumptions are made. Skids didn't make a big deal about being corrected). Then there's Pipes, who rattled off a list of traits he'd like in a potential significant other in the story "No Guns, No Swords, No Briefcases" that appeared in the end of issue 50, was implied to be attracted to Riptide, who matched most of his criteria. Sadly, Riptide didn't know this and Pipes died before Riptide joined the crew.

   I think Jackpot and Mainframe, two background characters, are together but I can't find the tweet and don't exactly want to point to "Word of God" as proper proof. 

   My favorite part, though, my absolute favorite part is how casually gay everyone is. There are "assumed relationship" jokes that come off as that, as opposed to "wouldn't it be funny if he was gay." Like the time Lug said "you made the pretty one with the swords faint in front of his conjunx!" after Drift fainted in front of Rodimus, or...well, a lot of what was going on in the holiday comic Silent Light between Megatron and Ultra Magnus. 

[Megatron, having accidentally turned on the ship's PA system, says over the speaker, "-you think you're doing, Ultra Magnus, but I've never given anyone a hug in my life." Rodimus, who is stepping into his BED chamber, says "I knew it." Megatron continues, "This is your final warning! You're a solitary individual and you get lonely - I can empathise - but now is not the time!"]

   This post is getting long enough, but my point is is that James Roberts' has created a work with a wonderful variety of lgbt characters that it's unfair that it goes as unnoticed as it does. There's a casual ease to it. The dialogue reads differently with the knowledge the character's aren't straight. Nautica saying "What's your name, I'd like to worship you like a god" would come off as fetishistic or queerbait in a lot of other things. Blades saying "Do I like him. Do I like him" in Lost Light 10 wouldn't come off as him wondering if First Aid was asking him if he was attracted to Getaway. It's funny, and charming, and has a million other reasons I'd recommend it (politics, treatment of mental illness, excellent world building). Maybe I'll write about them at some point.

Comics to read, if I managed to convince you to give IDW Transformers a try:

• Last Stand of the Wreckers by James Roberts and Nick Roche - story of the Wrecker's last stand, with plotlines that Lost Light carries on. Nonessential.
• Chaos Theory by James Roberts - two issues of the 2009 Transformers title. A modern day conversation between Megatron and Optimus Prime, with scenes in pre-war Cybertron. Essential world building.
• Death of Optimus Prime by John Barber and James Roberts. Directly leads into the Robots in Disguise and More than Meets the Eye titles. Essential.
• Maximum Dinobots by Simon Furman. The story of the Dynobots "last stand." Can't really say how essential it is or not.
• Spotlight: Kup by Nick Roche. Not really tied into More than Meets the Eye at all (though you get to see how different Perceptor is before "Persniper" happened) but it's a one shot, it's good, and it's got Familial Emotions.
• Spotlight: Mirage. Want a really weird time? Read this comic. Nonessential. It really just exists in its own little universe.
• Not a comic, but the TFWiki is your best friend

November To Do's

   Halloween is over and November is here. A less spooky time, more a time for food and family and loads of stress when you don't have good relationships with either. Anyway, the near is drawing to a close and I've read pretty much dick. Also, it's NaNoWriMo! I'm already behind, but I just want to make some progress on a story I've been sitting on forever. Let's get started, shall we?

Reading TBR

   I didn't finish my reads from October, so that remains the same. The list is as follows:

• Long Lankin by Lindsey Barraclough
• There's Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins
• Spellbook of the Lost and Found by Moira Fowley Doyle

   I go into more detail with them on my October TBR post, which is here. Another read'll be Lost Light issue 11, which comes out at the end of the month and details the midpoint of the Mutineers Trilogy. I can't even say what it'll be about, considering how the previous issue ended.

   

Craft Plans

   I'm going to be making more of the cute ghost plushes I made last month. I might experiment and make his little heart colors of LGBT flags. Besides, it'll be good embroidery practice. I'll also be working on my owl plushes, also with LGBT thread colors. 

   I'd also like to learn a little bit about making stickers and bookmarks and all. I'm thinking of starting an etsy, so I might as well have other things there.

NaNoWriMo Writing

   I'm going to do NaNo. Dunno how far I'll get, I'm already behind, but I'm going to make a dent in my story. My project is about a young aspiring superhero named Marion, sixty years after the superhero community was destroyed and rendered to a shadow of its former self. With her ability to conjure horrific imagery and unending optimism, she reaches out to aid a fellow hero in despair and gets more than she ever bargained for. It's a story about finding yourself, coming into your own, and forming unbreakable bonds that might just save the world.

   It's a story universe I've been working on for about six years and it's about time I actually wrote and finished something for it. So fingers crossed, and good luck to all NaNo-ers out there this month!

October Wrap-Up/Haul

    October is one of my favorite times of the year. I'm a spooky kind of person, I love horror and the general atmosphere. The last few years, in the throws of my depression, I found it difficult to get into the season. So this year, I made a conscious effort to be more excited. I picked out a Halloween sewing project for myself, and I decided to partake in Spook-a-thon (with the plan that if I didn't finish, I would finish my TBR for it anyway, attention span permitting). Me and one of my friends went to the Haunted Graveyard at Lake Compounce, which was a first for me. I started using my Instagram again. I did a lot of baking. This was a generally good month for me!

    I didn't finish my TBR even a little, but I did dent it, and I will be trying to finish the books I had listed for November. Either way, let's get into it.

Reading Wrap-Up

    First thing I read was the slaughterhouse arc from James Robert's More Than Meets the Eye. Technically, the arc itself starts in issue 32 and ends in 33, but I started with issue 29 (World Shut Your Mouth, Part One: Towards Peace, which is a mouthful of a title). A new status quo is established for the ship, with new characters joining the roster after the Dark Cybertron event, and new shenanigans to be had among the crew of the Lost Light. This arc touches on all kinds of things, including mourning after the loss of a loved one and the horrors of war, but the crux of it is the cast finding a ship whereon everyone had been gruesomely slaughtered. The pacing is wonderful, with the build up to the many reveals in the story landing with a lot of impact. There is still a level of the surreal to it, as out of context a group of robots finding a room full of dead cars and planes isn't exactly scary. But the story told is still so spooky and I really just love this cast. And the ending, before the lead in to Elegant Chaos, is still one of the sweetest moments in the book.

    Second, I started reading Spellbook of the Lost and Found by Moira Fowley-Doyle. I enjoyed it, though I only got halfway through before my attention span started kicking my ass. A town where things start going missing, people finding things that don't belong to them, and a group of girls finding a spellbook that can bring back what was lost (for a price). Things seem a little more sinister, with hints towards Rowan and Hazel's past that is shrouded in mystery. The narrative jumps between POVs, and I did feel like everyone had a unique voice and I enjoyed the amount of bi rep that was present. The story was intriguing to boot, but I did find the pacing to be off and far too fast for my liking. I will be trying to finish the book in November and I'll have more complete thoughts then.

    The last thing I read in October was issue 10 of Lost Light by James Roberts, Plotter's Club Part 1: Full Circle, and really, what a perfect October read. It was the long awaited return to the Lost Light after a mutiny back in issue 50 of More Than Meets The Eye, told from the point of view of a group (primarily, First Aid) that had departed the ship months prior to it. The mutineers lie casually regarding why they have a new captain, with things growing more unsettling as the story goes on. From the Thunderclash reveal to the end, I was positively screaming. Especially when that moment happened and the ending fell into place. Getaway is definitely one of my favorite villains, he's so vile and smug and ugh, what an excellent villain. Also that hint that Perceptor might return Brainstorm's feelings? Excellent.

Crafting Wrap-Up

    I did a lot of baking this Halloween. Most of it really ugly, because I'm still learning stuff, but I made some really good cookies! A lofthouse style cookie, dyed to look like little pumpkins, that are absolutely delicious.

    I also found this recipe for cookie sandwiches with a ganache filling that my mom and I made together, and we gave them eyes made of marshmallows and reeses pieces/M&M's. They're really tasty, too.

    The most important things I created this month, however, was the costume I made for Halloween and a little ghost plush I did in about two hours. The costume was a bit of a hassle, due to me vastly overestimating how big I was, so I had to wildly alter the size of it so it would fit on my ridiculous 5'1 frame. But I ended up looking super cute in it (and the ragged edges at the bottom pull off a nice look, in my opinion!). The mask I bought at Michael's.

    And the ghost I made, well, it's a cute little guy with hand stitched embroidery that I basically had to freehand due to lack of a fabric pen that'd let me draw guidelines. The end result is no less adorable!

    I also got back into planning in a big way and went a little...overboard making my planner pretty, but here it is! In all it's glory! The stickers I used were all brand new, bought that month, because hooboy was I in a really spooky mood. They're Martha Stewart Brand washi tape, which I'm not a huge fan of (I don't like that I have to peel them from a wax strip because it makes a mess).

    So who knows what's next for me in the month of November. I'm going to try my hand at NaNoWriMo (again), and let's see how far I go before I crash and burn. Oh well, as long as I have something done! I'll have a TBR/November Plans post up soon, so look out for that! In the mean time, here's a selfie of me from Lake Compounce, in addition to a spider thing that was there (that I promptly joked was Tarantulas, from Transformers, to my friend, who isn't into Transformers). I should note that the Haunted Graveyard was an absolute blast and I screamed so much, because I'm a jumpy baby, before I ruined everyone's fun time by telling people that the Guillotine was not a torture device and putting it with the likes of the rack was ahistoric. I'm a historian, I can't help it. (also wasn't a fan of the obligatory Scary Mental Asylum, so I spent that section as a complete grump)

A Whole New TBR

    Hope y'all like my awful, thrown-together-in-five-minutes header! I'm getting the hang of things, okay. Anyway, inspired by the video from the lovely Cece at problemsofabooknerd on youtube, I've decided to do Spookathon! I've been in a reading slump, and I've been wanting to get in the spirit of Halloween, so hopefully this will kick my ass into gear!

Challenges & Books:

1. Read A Thriller

    For this, I'll be reading Long Lankin by Lindsey Barraclough. It's about two sisters, Cora and Mimi, who are sent to spend time with their great Aunt in a secluded village called Bryers Guerdon. Their arrival reawakens an evil that has held the village in its grip for centuries. The girls and two local boys have to unravel the history of the town's hall and church, to save the younger sister. I saw this on display at my local library and loved the cover, so I had to pick it up. Who knows the quality, but it sure is pretty to look at. Besides, I'm super a sucker for small towns with dark secrets, its one of my favorite sub-genres and I always am looking for more to read!

2. Read a Book With a Spooky Word in the Title

    This is completely cheating because it's actually just a reread, but you can't stop me. For this one, I'll be reading slaughterhouse by James Roberts. Six months after restarting their quest after a stop at home, the Lost Light finds itself in a rather strange situation. Rewind's final message to his grieving husband suddenly ends in a scream instead of "I love you." A strange coffin appears. Parts of the ship are going missing, followed by members of the crew. It's left to those remaining to get to the bottom of the mystery. While More Than Meets the Eye is definitely a comedy, this arc is pretty unnerving. It uses familiar horror tropes, but the happy ending makes up for it I think! And "slaughterhouse" is definitely a spooky word.

3. Read a Book Based on a Childhood Fear 

    You know what I'm scared of? Home invasion. A serial killer coming after me. Always have been. I have, mayhaps, watched too much horror in my life and from too young an age. Anyway. Stephanie Perkins There's Someone In Your House seems pretty fitting, at least I think so. It's about Makani Young adjusting to life in Nebraska with her Grandmother, after a life in Hawaii that still haunts her. Local teens in her town start dying in gruesome ways, and it seems like it's only a matter of time before she's struck down. That's really all I know, but it should be fun, I think? If anything it'll be fun camp horror, which I'm always a fan of.

4/5. Read a Book with Orange on the Cover/Read a Book with a Spooky Setting

    Twofer for this. Spellbook of Lost and Found by Moira Fowley-Doyle. Things start to go missing, starting with the small until it's evident that bigger things are missing. Two friends, Olive and Rose, meet three mysterious strangers - Ivy, Hazel, and Rowan - who've lost something and have secrets of their own. The group discovers a spellbook that could bring back what was lost and set things right. But, there's a chance it could bring about disaster and things never meant to be found. Cece mentioned this in her video about Spookathon, and it sounded right up my alley. The cover makes me feel the chill of autumn, which is a definite plus in my book.

The Evil Abuse Victim & Why I Decided to Not Finish Strange The Dreamer

    Over the summer I decided to pick up Strange The Dreamer by Laini Taylor. I hadn't read anything by her prior, but I knew she was a darling in the YA reader community, and I heard many, many positive things about her newest book. So when I saw it at the library, I decided to check it out. What would the harm be? I ended up sorely disappointed, and actually quite upset. I DNF'd the book only partway through and have no intention of trying it out again.

    To start with the positive, I can see why Taylor is so popular. Her prose is beautiful and was an absolute pleasure to read. The words flowed together wonderfully, and on that front I was quite captured by it. Lazlo was a charming lead character, and I enjoyed his quiet presence and good nature. The mystery intrigued me- I was curious about the world she'd built. I was invested, incredibly so. Which is one of the reasons I was so disappointed; I didn't want to give up this magical world, but ultimately did.

    See, I often find myself drawn to characters who are abuse victims. I was immediately drawn to Thyon, feeling a sort of kinship to him. My relationship with my mother is not one of physical abuse, but I find comfort in characters with even a slight similarity to my own experiences. Maybe this is my own fault, I don't know, but it's resulted in a strong aversion to the trope of "Characters Who Suffer Abuse Become Evil." And when Thyon threw Lazlo's kindness back in his face, I felt honestly crushed. The narrative began reminding me of that common story element that pits the good, kindhearted abuse survivor (though I'm aware Lazlo technically isn't one, but he did suffer from parental abandonment) against the angry, bitter abuse survivor. It's something that makes me feel shame for my own anger over what's been taken from me.

    So feeling disheartened I skipped around in the book, to see where the plot went next. I was then hit with another trope I hate: the "Your Real Parents Really Love You." This one is only somewhat linked to my personal experiences, but it nevertheless frustrates and kind of upsets me. I don't have any "real parents" who actually love me, and abandoned me against their will, I don't have some mysterious past to be unlocked. I am simply as I am, a victim of abuse who is trying my best to be a better person.

    I see the value in these kinds of stories, and how other abuse victims may find comfort in them. I don't want to take that away from anyone, because I really do understand the why. They just aren't for me, and I think my voice on the matter is just as important as any other's.