A Whole New TBR

    Hope y'all like my awful, thrown-together-in-five-minutes header! I'm getting the hang of things, okay. Anyway, inspired by the video from the lovely Cece at problemsofabooknerd on youtube, I've decided to do Spookathon! I've been in a reading slump, and I've been wanting to get in the spirit of Halloween, so hopefully this will kick my ass into gear!

Challenges & Books:

1. Read A Thriller

    For this, I'll be reading Long Lankin by Lindsey Barraclough. It's about two sisters, Cora and Mimi, who are sent to spend time with their great Aunt in a secluded village called Bryers Guerdon. Their arrival reawakens an evil that has held the village in its grip for centuries. The girls and two local boys have to unravel the history of the town's hall and church, to save the younger sister. I saw this on display at my local library and loved the cover, so I had to pick it up. Who knows the quality, but it sure is pretty to look at. Besides, I'm super a sucker for small towns with dark secrets, its one of my favorite sub-genres and I always am looking for more to read!

2. Read a Book With a Spooky Word in the Title

    This is completely cheating because it's actually just a reread, but you can't stop me. For this one, I'll be reading slaughterhouse by James Roberts. Six months after restarting their quest after a stop at home, the Lost Light finds itself in a rather strange situation. Rewind's final message to his grieving husband suddenly ends in a scream instead of "I love you." A strange coffin appears. Parts of the ship are going missing, followed by members of the crew. It's left to those remaining to get to the bottom of the mystery. While More Than Meets the Eye is definitely a comedy, this arc is pretty unnerving. It uses familiar horror tropes, but the happy ending makes up for it I think! And "slaughterhouse" is definitely a spooky word.

3. Read a Book Based on a Childhood Fear 

    You know what I'm scared of? Home invasion. A serial killer coming after me. Always have been. I have, mayhaps, watched too much horror in my life and from too young an age. Anyway. Stephanie Perkins There's Someone In Your House seems pretty fitting, at least I think so. It's about Makani Young adjusting to life in Nebraska with her Grandmother, after a life in Hawaii that still haunts her. Local teens in her town start dying in gruesome ways, and it seems like it's only a matter of time before she's struck down. That's really all I know, but it should be fun, I think? If anything it'll be fun camp horror, which I'm always a fan of.

4/5. Read a Book with Orange on the Cover/Read a Book with a Spooky Setting

    Twofer for this. Spellbook of Lost and Found by Moira Fowley-Doyle. Things start to go missing, starting with the small until it's evident that bigger things are missing. Two friends, Olive and Rose, meet three mysterious strangers - Ivy, Hazel, and Rowan - who've lost something and have secrets of their own. The group discovers a spellbook that could bring back what was lost and set things right. But, there's a chance it could bring about disaster and things never meant to be found. Cece mentioned this in her video about Spookathon, and it sounded right up my alley. The cover makes me feel the chill of autumn, which is a definite plus in my book.

The Evil Abuse Victim & Why I Decided to Not Finish Strange The Dreamer

    Over the summer I decided to pick up Strange The Dreamer by Laini Taylor. I hadn't read anything by her prior, but I knew she was a darling in the YA reader community, and I heard many, many positive things about her newest book. So when I saw it at the library, I decided to check it out. What would the harm be? I ended up sorely disappointed, and actually quite upset. I DNF'd the book only partway through and have no intention of trying it out again.

    To start with the positive, I can see why Taylor is so popular. Her prose is beautiful and was an absolute pleasure to read. The words flowed together wonderfully, and on that front I was quite captured by it. Lazlo was a charming lead character, and I enjoyed his quiet presence and good nature. The mystery intrigued me- I was curious about the world she'd built. I was invested, incredibly so. Which is one of the reasons I was so disappointed; I didn't want to give up this magical world, but ultimately did.

    See, I often find myself drawn to characters who are abuse victims. I was immediately drawn to Thyon, feeling a sort of kinship to him. My relationship with my mother is not one of physical abuse, but I find comfort in characters with even a slight similarity to my own experiences. Maybe this is my own fault, I don't know, but it's resulted in a strong aversion to the trope of "Characters Who Suffer Abuse Become Evil." And when Thyon threw Lazlo's kindness back in his face, I felt honestly crushed. The narrative began reminding me of that common story element that pits the good, kindhearted abuse survivor (though I'm aware Lazlo technically isn't one, but he did suffer from parental abandonment) against the angry, bitter abuse survivor. It's something that makes me feel shame for my own anger over what's been taken from me.

    So feeling disheartened I skipped around in the book, to see where the plot went next. I was then hit with another trope I hate: the "Your Real Parents Really Love You." This one is only somewhat linked to my personal experiences, but it nevertheless frustrates and kind of upsets me. I don't have any "real parents" who actually love me, and abandoned me against their will, I don't have some mysterious past to be unlocked. I am simply as I am, a victim of abuse who is trying my best to be a better person.

    I see the value in these kinds of stories, and how other abuse victims may find comfort in them. I don't want to take that away from anyone, because I really do understand the why. They just aren't for me, and I think my voice on the matter is just as important as any other's.